Less anxiety | more kindness

The other day I saw this quote and it stopped me in my tracks…

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Like many, I’m a single mom with a full-time job.  I try so hard to balance life, home, work, my daughter, fitness, relationships and my well being.  There is so much to do and barely enough time to complete it.  I strive for perfection in all aspects of my life, but in reality, is there really such a thing?  Enter the whole anxiety aspect.

I find myself constantly searching for the answers to so many questions, and I’m pretty sure there are other women out there thinking the same thing.  Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I overthink words I say or actions I put forth?  Why do I constantly beat myself up over things I did or didn’t do?  Why do I become so anxious over situations I can’t even control?  Why do I feel the need to constantly live up to the perfectly put together pictures and posts of others on social media?  And most importantly, why do I say nasty words to myself when I wouldn’t dare say them to anyone else?

The past year I’ve made it my mission to try and be kinder to myself.  Try is the key word here.  I’m an anxious person by nature and I find it very hard to control the thoughts swirling around in my mind.  I’ve lost much sleep, had bouts of weight loss and had serious bellyaches from putting myself in anxiety producing situations.  Finally, I decided that enough was enough and it needed to stop.  Along my road to self acceptance, I’ve learned a few tidbits that helped me process my feelings and I wanted to share them with you.

  1. Sometimes thoughts are not reality.  This one is a biggie for me.  What I am thinking is not necessarily what is happening.

  2. Social media is everyone’s best foot forward.  Granted, some post every single detail of their lives, positive or not, but most times it’s unicorns and rainbows.

  3. Everyone has problems.  Large or minute, they are present in everyone’s lives.

  4. Go with the flow more often.  Moments spent with others can’t ever be replaced.   Lately I’ve been trying to opt for together time over crossing things off of my to-do list.

  5. Let go of the past.  Nothing can be changed.  Accept it, own it, and move on.  This is so difficult for me and some days are better than others, but I am trying my hardest to let it go.

  6. Be kinder to myself. Accept flaws, accept imperfection.

  7. Trust again.  This is another difficult one.  When tackling life’s challenges, trusting others can be an obstacle.  Lately, I have been more open to trusting again.  Vulnerability with the wrong people can be devastating.  Vulnerability with the right people can be beautiful.

  8. Turn my thoughts off at night.  My boyfriend loves when I start rambling about the thoughts in my head right before falling asleep.  There is nothing that can be solved in that moment….go to bed!

  9. Learn from mistakes made, and don’t make them again.  There is a quote that I love that frequently pops into my mind: “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” ~unknown

My purpose for this post is two-fold.  First, I want others to know that I, along with many other women, have similar feelings or thoughts and you are not alone.  Second, life is about the journey.  Try your best to make good choices, smile more, be kinder to others, be present and love those who matter the most with all your might.

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For a great read, pick up Max Lucado’s “Anxious for Nothing – Finding Calm in a Chaotic World.”  I don’t normally gravitate towards books under the inspirational genre, but this one was well worth it.

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