Lately I’ve had this nagging feeling of unsettlement. I can’t pinpoint where it is coming from exactly, but I know it has been present inside of me for a while now. Nothing is particularly wrong in my life. In fact, everything is going quite well. So then, why do I feel this way?
The other night when I came across an article in Chip and Joanna’s [Magnolia Journal] magazine titled “Living with Intentionality,” it struck me hard. Several people told their stories about how they found peace from within and how they now live life to the fullest.
One entrepreneur told how a sickness brought him to think deeper about his life, the past and present. He started to keep a journal of his intentions for the day, which led him to write personal notes to the many people who have touched his life in some way. To date, he has written many, many notes to a broad range of people ranging from the coffee shop barista to relatives. He practices his intentionality from the feeling he gets from letting others know how he feels.
A former exec left her high paying job to follow her love of gardening, which she learned from her grandfather at a young age. The salary was expectedly less, but the passion was there and she hasn’t looked back.
A woman who dreamed of having children found out it wouldn’t be possible due to Crohn’s disease. So after a long process, she adopted a baby from China with her husband. Time passed and after much disappointment, they adopted a second baby from the same country with special needs and their family is now complete.
All of the stories I read had a common thread – to live with a purpose and to follow the passion that comes from within. Simple enough? Yet, so hard.
Sometimes we all get caught up in life’s daily grind, myself included. It’s so easy to take our loved ones for granted and not be present because of a work deadline, kid activities or household chores, etc. The older I get, the more I realize that I, too, need to begin to live intentionally. I want to live with the purpose of making others feel needed, wanted and cared for, because after all, isn’t that what we all crave?
I want to begin to look at the big picture and not the little things right in front of me. I am so guilty of reacting to minor issues with immediate responses rather than taking a step back and thinking about what is really going on.
By living with intention, I want to try and lessen what makes me anxious, especially those things I can’t control. “Try” is the key word. A while back I wrote about my struggle with anxiety and it’s still a daily struggle to keep my emotions and nervousness in check.
I’m wondering if by shifting my thoughts to this mindset if I will be able to put more trust in people, rather than doubt or question? Having an intentional purpose may take the focus away from me and placing it on others.
Finally, I want to find what sparks me inside. I already know things I am passionate about….my family, friends, running, design, but what is it deep down that sparks the passion within me? I am still searching for that answer.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to one thing for me. I need to try and live my life to the absolute fullest.